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Tips Menyikapi “ Kenakalan” Anak

Tips Menyikapi “ Kenakalan” Anak

Orang tua adalah pendidik kodrati. Artinya secara kodrat dari “sono”nya sebagai orang tua berkewajiban mendidika anaknya. Kalau tidak akan diancam dosa dan dimasukkan neraka. Orang tua bisa diazab gara-gara anaknya. Bahkan dengan azab dua kali lipat dan ditambah laknat yang besar dari Allah SWT. Silakan dicek di surat al-Ahzab ayat 66-68.

Sedangkan guru adalah pendidik karena profesinya. Tugas mendidik yang sedianya tugas orang tua, dilimpahkan kepada guru karena kondisi darurat yang menuntut demikian. Jadi guru dalam konteks ini adalah profesi mulia, sangat mulia sekali, sehingga kelak guru akan menjadi “orang agung” di kalangan , malaikat dan mahluk langit lainnya. Namun demikian tidak semua guru mendapatkan derajat demikian agung. Ada syarat dan ketentuan yang berlaku di sana.

Sebagai orang tua maupun guru, sering kita menghadapi situasi, di mana prilaku anak kita/peserta didik kita begitu menjengkelkan, dan membuat marah. Akibatnya, terlalu banyak energi batin kita terkuras habis untuk menghadapi situasi itu, sehingga mempengaruhi dalam proses mendidik, belajar dan mengajar. Nah bagaimana mengelola pemahaman kita untuk menyikapi “kenakalan” anak?. Tulisan ini mencoba memberikan tips untuk menghadapi situasi itu. Kata “kenakalan” sengaja saya beri tanda petik, karena ada khilafiyah/perbedaan pendapat di kalangan ahli pendidikan tentang ; apa benar ada anak yang nakal?.

Ada beberapa hal yang bisa kita jadi kan pegangan dalam mendidik anak. Kita jadikan sebagai ukuran perlakuan kepada anak. Bahkan sebagai kaidah pegangan dalam pola menyikapi prilaku anak. Antara lain :

 Menerima Anak apa adanya tanpa syarat

Kadang orang tua bersikap baik, atau lemah lembut kepada anak, namun mensyaratkan anak harus nurut dulu, hormat, taat dan seterusnya. Orang tua demikian akan benci dan menolak jika tidak diperlakukan dengan baik oleh anak. Ini memang manusiawi. Tapi demi kebaikan anak, terimalah dulu anak kita apa adanya tanpa syarat. Baru kemudian mengadakan perbaikan-perbaikan kepada anak.
Anak akan merasa nyaman, bahagia jika merasa diterima orang tua. Menjadi sedih jika merasa ditolak atau dijauhkan dari kasih sayang orang tua. Anak memerlukan penerimaan oang tua. Dengan itu akan membangun kepercayaan dirinya di lingkungan keluarga dan dalam pergaulan sebayanya. Jika anak merasa tidak diterima orang tua di rumahnya sendiri, segera akan mencari pergaulan di luar rumah. Mencari komunitas yang mau menerima dirinya. Dia mulai mengidentifikasi diri dengan teman-teman lainnya. Biasanya mencari anak yang senasib dengan dirinya. Kemudian membentuk semacam geng, komunitas, grup dan lainnya. Di sinilah banyak anak-anak menjadi tersesat karena pengaruh teman. Salah gaul.

Untuk bisa menerima anak anggaplah/ berprinsiplah bahwa Anak Tidak Pernah Salah (ATPS). Kalau toh faktanya salah, yakinlah itu adalah bagaian dari perkembangan dan pembelajaran anak. Dengan demikian tidak ada alasan menolak anak hanya karena kesalahan-kesalahan yang ia lakukan.

 Mendendengar lebih banyak

Sebagai manusia, siapapun itu bisa melakukan kesalahan. Tidak ada manusia yang ma’shum ( terpelihara dari kesalahan) kecuali para nabi. Ada satu permintaan dari siapapun yang melakukan kesalahan, yaitu minta dimengerti. Cobalah dimengerti dulu mengapa anak melakukan kesalahan. Dengarkan dulu apa yang dikatakan anak. Beri kesempatan anak menyampaikan apa yang difikirkan. Kadang anak melakukan kesalahan bukan karena wataknya atau kenakalannya, namun karena taraf berfikir dan perkembangannya. Karena memang anak belum mampu berfikir sejauh yang kita fikirkan. Maka lebih banyaklah mendengar dari pada menasehati. Itulah rahasia mengapa manusia diciptakan dua telinga, satu mulut. Kita disuruh lebih banyak mendengar dari pada berbicara.

 Anah bukanlah orang dewasa dalam bentuk mini

Prilaku senakal apapun dari anak adalah prilaku kanak-kanak. Ia bukan orang dewasa dalam bentuk mini. Karena itu, nilailah prilaku anak dengan ukuran anak, bukan ukuran kita orang dewasa. Ia anak yang masih dalam taraf berkembang dan belajar. Ada saatnya anak dilatih belajar dari kesalahan. Anak perlu diajarkan secara nyata untuk minta maaf. Untuk minta maaf tentu perlu ada kesalahan anak. Jadikan kesalahan anah untuk sarana mengajarkan anak tentang; bagaimana menyikapi kesalahan, bagaimana cara minta maaf, sekaligus mencontohkan bagaimana mamafkan orang lain. Setiap kesalahan anak bisa dilihat dari sisi ini.

Kita –para orang tua- sering melihat prilaku anak dengan kaca mata orang dewasa. Akibatnya tidak ada prilaku yang benar dari anak. Sehingga persepsi orang tua terhadap anaknya selalu negatif. Persepsi negatif akan memunculkan tindakan negatif, atau setidaknya menimbulkan su’udlon berkepanjangan. Tiada penderitaan yang menimbulkan keputus asaan melebihi “ selalu dinilai buruk” orang lain. Akibatnya anak akan mengidentifikasi dirinya sebagai anak buruk/nakal. Lantas merasa tidak pantas berbuat baik. Nah , kalau sudah begini bgaimana jadainya?. Siapa yang salah?. Wallahu A’lam.

 Nasehat dalam bentuk prilaku jauh lebih efektif dari pada nasehat dengan lisan

Anak lebih percaya kepada apa yang ia lihat dari orang tuanya, dari pada apa yang dikatakan orang tua kepada anak. Maka, orang tua lebih focus kepada bagaimana memberi contoh baik, bukan focus kepada menghukum, menyalahkan dan bahkan menasehati. Apa yang ditampilkan orang tua ( pakaiannya, gaya bicaranya, pergaulannya, dandanannya, cara jalannya, dll) berbicara/memberitahukan lebih banyak (dengan bahasa halnya) kepada anak. Tidak lama kemudian, anak akan menggandakan apa yang dilihatnya itu dalam prilaku dirinya. Maka, kita para orang tua/ guru berikanlahlah contoh yang baik kepada anak-anak kita.

Anak bukanlah milik oang tua

Anak adalah titipan. Ia memiliki potensi dan karakteristik yang berbeda dengan kita orang tua. Ia akan hidup pada zaman yang berbeda dengan zaman kita. Maka kita didik anak sesuai kecenderungan potensinya, bakat dan minatnya. Jangan paksa anak mengikuti semua kemauan kita untuk menjadi apa, atau menjadi siapa. Biarlah ia menjadi dirinya. Orang tua harus menfasilitasi pendidikannya. Tugas orang tua adalah memastikan anak menjadi apapun kelak, ia harus menjadi orang baik-baik. Yaitu orang yang mengerti kewajiban agama, dalam berbangsa dan bernegara. Melaksanakan hak Allah dan RasulNya, serta hak sesama manusia. Baik di dunia dan di akhirat.

 Kekuatan do’a

Apapun yang dilakukn orang tua untuk mendidik anak hanyalah usaha, namun penentu akhir adalah Allah swt. Allah-lah yang membolak-balik hati manusia, termasuk anak kita. Karena itu kita jangan lupa berdoa, dan mendo’akan anak-anak kita. Hasilnya kita serahkan sepenuhnya kepada Allah, setelah berusaha semaksimal mungkin , berdo’a dan mendo’akan anak. Dengan demikian kalau anak berhasil kita tidak sombong, kalau toh gagal kita tidak terlalu kecewa. Semua dalam kendali Allah dan yakinlah Allah menakdirkan yang terbaik menurut Allah SWT, bukan menurut kita. الخير ما إختاره الله تعالى ( yang terbaik adalah apa yang dipilihkan Allah swt).

Demikianlah tip menyikapi anak. Tips ini bisa diterapkan orang tua untuk menyikapi anak. Juga bagi seorang guru untuk menyikapi murid-muridnya. Tentu dengan mengganti kata anak dengan kata murid. Wallahu A’lam Bisshawab. ***

Penulis adalah Dosen UNU Indonesia Jakarta, Pengurus LP Ma’arif NU DKI Jakarta.

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Monday, March 4, 2019 1:47 AM
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Monday, March 4, 2019 1:47 AM
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newservicespoints.com
Monday, March 4, 2019 1:48 AM
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myshoppingideas.us
Monday, March 4, 2019 1:48 AM
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generalspot.us
Monday, March 4, 2019 1:48 AM
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